… is to be fully committed. It is really funny to me that I have worked for the past year + and right when I see milestones ahead, right when one of many finish lines is closest…. I WANT TO QUIT! Seriously. I have been thinking about it almost daily. Our practice is finally making a little profit, we present our concept at a national conference in 4 weeks, and at the same time I have caught myself looking at job postings 3 times in the past week.
That my friends, is very creative self-sabotage. I look at those job postings and think about applying telling myself “we just need to make money,” “I can’t work for free forever,” and the best one “I am wasting my career.” Each statement more false than the one before. The real waste is the minutes that turn to hours that I spend thinking about living a different life. The real waste is coming this far and then wasting time I could be spending doing my very best.
The only way through is to commit.
I know I will spend the rest of my life regretting not seeing this through. I just want to see where this will go. What if it is possible to make a living on a cash practice? What if people are as sick of the DSM as I am? What if insurance companies didn’t dictate the treatment of human beings? What if the field of marriage and family therapy could get better? What if therapists could be more advanced, more able to help people, than billion dollar pharmaceutical companies? What if children weren’t labeled with mental illness but instead taught to adapt and find their strength?
I want that world so badly.