The Spiders I couldn’t Kill

The house had become a disgusting mess. Between life and dog sitting for a friend, I had let the house go with wild abandon. I dropped a piece of mail the other day and when I reached down to pick it up, I noticed two small spiders had taken up residence by the door near the floor. It disturbed me that it had been so long since I had at lease the decency of vacuuming that the two spiders had time to create an elaborate display of their new home.

But today while I was vacuuming and thinking about my plan to suck up those little brown creatures, I just couldn’t do it. Call me weak, call me sensitive, but they must be eating or catching something that comes in through the bottom of my door. And since when do spiders make webs so close together? Since when do they work together?

Hindus believe that everything that moves has a soul. I was reminded of this as I vacuumed closer and closer to their home. I was reminded of what it felt like that fateful day when I showed up to my home seeing it torched in angry red and orange flames. I was reminded that we are all fragile organisms playing out our role in this world at this present moment and that we have the incredible ability to inhabit the earth, and if we choose to, live in symbiosis with it. And finally, I was reminded of what a gift it is to live right here, right now. In a time where so many people are waking up and choosing to live the life they are called to live. A time in which fat pensions and long term positions are scarce; we are forced into a new way of being. And if we choose to ignore the voice of fear, we can choose a life that reflects that which we love and are passionate about.

I am so lucky to be alive and to have learned, despite myself, that you get in life what you put into it. The more energy I put into love and doing what I love the more I get back. It has only been a couple years since becoming plant-based but love comes much easier now. I no longer have the conflict of eating the animals I love. It has freed me in so many ways (a topic for another blog perhaps). And one of those ways is that I can listen to my heart when it says, “let them be.”

On a side note, for those who may be thinking, “hot dang. How overly sensitive can one person be??” think about this:

Words like “overly sensitive” and “emotional” were words used to describe people who were against slavery. They were used again as reasons why women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. It is my belief that we are all sensitive; we are just desensitized by institutions/society/culture/media from the time we come into the world.

2 thoughts on “The Spiders I couldn’t Kill

  1. Joella, you are not overly sensitive. We also live by the rule of capture and release outside when we find a spider in our house. Unless it’s an invasion of epic proportions and our safety is a concern, then we might need to call an exterminator, as awful as that sounds. There are times we must be strong to save ourselves, but otherwise, let all creatures, great and small, live their life. I know that saving spiders, ants, flies, etc.. in our surroundings doesn’t make up for all the animals, birds and fish I have ingested over my life, and are still, but hopefully it’s a start in the right direction. My heart is there, but I need to follow with intentional conviction to that feeling I have toward all life. I am not living plant based, at least not yet, but I would love to make it work as you two have! Loved your message! Every message like this is another reminder that I can change. Your words are not going to deaf ears! Keep up the great writing, by the way. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Gayle! That was such a thoughtful and wonderful response. I appreciate your kind words and that you took the time to share.

      Hope you are both well 🙂

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