I cannot believe it has been one full year since Michael and I took this huge leap into life. There is a part of me, as you might already know from past blogs, that wishes that I could post some neat and tidy conclusion about our journey…. but life continues to be an ever changing roller coaster. As my professor used to say sarcastically, “Oh boo hoo, you don’t know what will happen tomorrow and have nothing but possibilities ahead of you … just wait until you have a mortgage, kids, and a tenure track career. You will long for those days of not knowing.”
I joke with Michael that we somehow made it into our thirties (yes for the first time we are in the same decade haha) with the same open wild hearts we began our twenties with. And although there have been some major lows, some serious “holy shit” moments, and the dreaded “did I just mess up my whole life?” moment, I woke up this morning so grateful for all the possibilites that we get to toy with each day.
What I am most grateful for and proud of is that we had the blessing of prioritizing us for 322 days. After being married for four of Michael’s eight year military career and two years of a master’s degree program, we spent 322 uninterrupted days together. I feel so honored to have had time with Michael and to get to know him in a new way. It is a bond that will forever strengthen us. We choose our relationship and becoming our authentic selves over the traditional path. We have choosen to really get to know one another outside of the military and all the other roles we play in daily life. And most importantly, we now know that both of us wake up a bit different each day. That we are in a constant process of trying out life and disgarding what doesn’t work. Gone are the days of assuming one another’s stance on one topic or another. We have seen each other change in very deep personal ways over this past year and I hope to continue to embrace change side by side. For as we have learned, it is about staying parallel to one another. Never holding each other back out of fear or trying to maintain some tradjectory we set out on years ago. Instead, its getting to know each other, again and again, day after day, and committing to the common goal of staying side by side.
I have also come to the realization that this past year has just been embracing a change that was set into motion long ago without our participation or consent. The house fire in 2013 was the true begining of this journey. The Universe stepped in that day and called us, and this past year was simply the begining of us responding.
We are contemplating yet more change and embracing more of our weirdness everyday… so watch out!!! Who knows what’s next?!?!
I certainly have no clue 🙂