Four Years Ago

Four years ago (January 25th to be exact) Michael officially became a Retired Military Officer. A huge transition in our life, the depths of which I am just now beginning to see.

It occurred to me in yoga this morning, that we have reached a strange point in our relationship. Our relationship has now been equal parts in the military and out of the military. No longer could I look back at the past and see this looming ARMY dictator over our decisions. And no longer could we claim we are still figuring out how to be after the military. Instead, somehow, we had fumbled through the transition. And here we are, despite the wild ride and extreme detours, right where we had hoped and dreamed to be.

I feel so incredibly grateful. And at the same time, it signifies yet another time to let go. To let go of the struggle narrative that has plagued us. It is no longer a struggle to figure out how to be a couple post-Army. It is no longer a struggle to imagine life without that steady paycheck and the passage of time marked by hierarchical moves up a well defined ladder. And to let go of the rules, roles, and expectations that came with that career both individually and as a couple.

Instead it is a time to be grateful for finding our way. I am grateful for the discipline that the military instilled in us. Grateful for the strength to stand by our values. Grateful for the ability to continually remind ourselves, “we have had much harder days. Remember that time in the Army…” And most of all, grateful that at every turn we were surrounded by the right person or people to guide us through.

Individually, professionally, and as a couple, we have found new ways to be, new ways to contribute, and along with that, a new way of life.  And with all of that, I feel permission to start to dream again of our next adventure. To let go of this “Transition” chapter and fully embrace our new way of life. I have felt so stifled in my blogging and writing for the past two months and I think it’s because I’ve been trying to dream our next adventure from a past self. Whether it was my single self or the transitioning from the Army-insecure-hope we make it self, neither of them were present. I feel ready to dream again from who I am today, in this present moment.

What past experience or part of yourself still dictates your present? What role do you still try to fill even though it no longer fits who you are today?

I am reminded that those are important questions to continually ask ourselves in order to live the authentic life we were designed to live.

Happy Friday 🙂

 

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